I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
