wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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