I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
