You're completely useless in the revolution.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
