if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
