my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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