DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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