Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
