I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
