I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
