I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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