two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
