The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
