He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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