u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
