he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
