i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize