Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
