Operation Purity has been aborted
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
