I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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