oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
