All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
