how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
