If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
