I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize