I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
