My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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