Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
