No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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