i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize