i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
