I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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