seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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