guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
