So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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