Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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