Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
