I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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