Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
