I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
