have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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