i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize