are you still at the devil's house?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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