I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
