you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
