on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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