the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
