Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize