I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
why is half of my head shaved?
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