I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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