Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
