I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize