I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
