I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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