we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
