im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
