If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There r osticjed everywhere
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
