how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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