i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
being pregnant is like rehab
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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