is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
