this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
