I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
