I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
