so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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