I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
