guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So many bounce houses so little time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
