i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
