Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
