I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My ATM looks so different sober.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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