Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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