I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
