to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
