seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
