We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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