this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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