margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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