the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
