I bet he comes in French.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize