You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
