Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
