He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
