Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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